Kids Christmas Jokes

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Jokes to tell at
Christmas time

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Send us your Christmas joke and if it makes us laugh we will add it to our page. woodlandsweb@hotmail.com

What kind of candle burns longer?


Sent in by
Mandy B


How can a snowman lose weight?


Sent in by
Brenda Dickinson


What do you say to Santa Claus when he is taking the register at school?


Sent in by
Alex Bratton


Why is it always cold at Christmas?


Sent in by
Frances Cragg


Where does Santa go to learn how to slide down chimneys?


Sent in by
C Waine


What happens when you drop a snowball in water?

Sent in by
Molly and Isaac


Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

Sent in by
Natasha


How does a cow say Merry Christmas?

Sent in by
Georgia Miller


What does scooby-doo sing at christmas ?

Sent in by
Amy Pascal and
Georgia Miller


Where does Santa's little helpers go to relax?

Sent in by
Alexandra


What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?


Sent in by
Abigail Cresswell


Who's impossible to overtake at Christmas?

Sent in by
Gabriel Davies, Berkhamsted, Herts


What does Rudolph want for Christmas?

Sent in by
Shane McCourt


What carol is heard in the desert?

Sent in by
Richard and Fleur


What do u get if u cross santa and a detective?

 Sent in by
Aoife
Belfast


What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

 Sent in by
Adam Courtley
Tudhoe Colliery,
Co. Durham


What do you call Santa Claus's dog?

 Sent in by
Daniel Teggert
Tudhoe Colliery,
Co. Durham


Where do snow men go to dance?

 Sent in by
Marc Watson
Kilwinning


There were 2 snowmen in a garden and
 Can you smell carrot?!

 Sent in by
Charlie Down
Wiltshire


What do you give a railway station master for Christmas?


 Sent in by
William Hodgson
West Hanning field


What is the best xmas present in the world?


 Sent in by
Matthew Smith
Northern Ireland


What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

 Sent in by
Harry G


How do Sheep greet each other at Christmas time?

 Sent in by
Harry G


Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

 Sent in by
Mary


What do elves learn at elf school?

 Sent in by
Richard B


What is Rudolph favourite day of the year?

 Sent in by
Ravhel
From Co Armagh


What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

 Sent in by
Jessica Harvey
From London


How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

 Sent in by
Becky
from Sevenoaks


How do you make opening your christmas presents last longer?

Sent in by
Arran
from Ludlow


A little boy asked Santa what he did in the off-season. Santa replied,"Well, I do have three gardens." The little boy asked Santa why he had three, and Santa chuckled and said," So I can ho,ho,ho!"

 Sent in by
Samantha
from Texas


Why was the turkey the drummer in the pop group?

 Sent in by
James Edwards

Who says oh oh oh ?

 

Sent in by
Blaine Woodman

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Hosanna
Hosanna who?
How's sanna claus gonna get down our chimney?
We have central heating and no chimney!!!!!!

 

Sent in by
Isaac and Jordan Ambrose

 If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?


What did Mrs. Christmas say to her husband during the storm?

  All the young turkeys went to a Christmas dance
... they danced chick to chick!

How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?

 

Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?

   What do sheep write on their Christmas cards?

 

Knock, knock.
-
Who's there?
Wenceslas.
-
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas bus home on Christmas Eve?

 

 What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?


What is a crocodile's favourite Christmas party game?


What game do cows like to play at Christmas parties?

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offence", said the judge.
" It is if you do it before the shop opened", countered the prisoner.

Why is it difficult to keep a secret at the North Pole?


 

Why does Santa have a garden?

 

 Why can only tiny fairies sit under toadstools?

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?


What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?


Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?


What did Cinderella sing when her photographs weren't ready?


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